Welcome to Grace and Space, a weekly newsletter from the Deconstructing Mamas Podcast! GRACE for who you have been, are now and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be!
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At some point in life, many of us encounter a moment when everything seems to unravel. For those of us who grew up in high-control religious settings, where beliefs were rarely questioned and expectations were set in stone, this moment can feel like stepping into an abyss.
The safety of certainty falls away, leaving us facing questions we once considered unthinkable. Yet, if we let ourselves lean into this unraveling, it can be a catalyst for growth—a painful, honest awakening to parts of ourselves we may have long hidden or silenced.
In a social media-driven world, everyone seems to project their most curated selves, and it’s easy to feel like we’re the only ones struggling to hold it together.
For those of us who left communities that shaped our identities, this feeling is particularly poignant. When I began questioning teachings that once defined me, I found myself caught between worlds—feeling out of place in the old, yet uncertain of where I belonged in the new. The deeply ingrained need to “fit in” clashed with a growing desire to know myself as I am, free from imposed ideals.
This internal tug-of-war is exhausting and can leave us feeling lost, unsure of where we stand with others or even with ourselves.
And in those moments when everything feels hard, it’s so tempting to slip into old habits—to avoid, numb, or self-blame. Breaking these cycles isn’t easy, especially when past experiences of shame and control have made self-compassion feel like a foreign concept. It’s all too easy to end up back in the same patterns, finding comfort in the very things that no longer serve us.
We know this struggle well; it's a constant dance of confronting and surrendering, trying not to let our history dictate our future.
Life doesn’t often provide us with the easy answers we crave, especially when we’ve let go of the beliefs that once guided us. After our own unraveling, we felt adrift, questioning everything we thought we knew. It was disorienting, and we struggled to find peace amid the doubts and unknowns. While mindfulness and gratitude brought us fleeting calm, it rarely lasted beyond a moment.
Yet in the midst of that restlessness, we began to feel the first glimmers of hope—a fragile reassurance that perhaps peace wasn’t in finding the answer but in allowing ourselves to stay present in the unknown.
The hardest part has been rebuilding connection—not only with others but with ourselves. Emerging from a high-control environment left us feeling disconnected, as though we had to reconstruct my identity from scratch. Forming genuine connections requires peeling back the layers of conditioning, and that vulnerability can feel awkward and uncomfortable. At times, we still wonder who we can trust and question what “community” even means. But as we let go of the need to perform, we’ve started to experience connections that feel real, unburdened by expectations.
This pursuit of authenticity is often uncomfortable, especially when we’ve been conditioned to chase perfection. The idea that life could be “perfect” through enough faith or strict adherence can leave us feeling perpetually inadequate. Embracing ourselves as a work in progress, with all our flaws and uncertainties, remains a challenge. It can feel daunting to accept that we don’t have it all figured out—and that maybe, we don’t need to.
So, if you’re feeling like life is unraveling, know you’re not alone. This process is rarely straightforward, and it doesn’t come with guarantees of clarity or resolution. But perhaps that’s the point: there is beauty in learning to live within the questions, to exist in the messiness without needing to fix or finalize.
As we continue to walk this path, we’ve found a quiet strength that grows not from control or certainty, but from allowing ourselves to be open—to unravel, to question, and to trust that, even in the chaos, there’s space for something new to emerge.
This Week on the Podcast:
“If I widen the lens and see this concept from a new perspective, then yes, I do matter. I do have purpose. I’ve just redefined my view of purpose. I’ve taken the pressure off. And I’ve started to find fulfillment, contentment, and gratification in small actions that matter." Sarah W. Bragg
Our episode this week is with Sarah W. Bragg, mom of two teens, author of the new book, Is Everyone Happier Than Me?, and podcast host. Sarah's humor, combined with her tenderness and strength, lends itself to an incredible conversation.
Some of the topics we explore are these:
Where her spiritual journey falls into the thoughts that keep her up at night.
Healthy boundaries with social media. Fostering connection without comparison.
Building true connection with ourselves, especially if we have spent our lives being told that connection to self was unimportant or wrong.
The role of play and pleasure in coming back to ourselves.
Redefining purpose.
What really matters?
The valuable role of curiosity.
Our favorite words from this podcast episode were pressure off, play, pleasure, edges, Real Housewives, and 3 am. Find out why when you listen.
You can find Sarah at the following:
Instagram: @sarahwbragg
Facebook: Sarah Washington Bragg
Website: sarahbragg.com
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Resource Alerts:
The point where you feel like your life is unraveling can actually be a place of unimaginable growth--an awakening--if you're willing to ask yourself a few simple questions.
In an age where everyone else's successes are flaunted in front of you on social media, it can be a struggle to feel true happiness and contentment exactly where you are. Throw in difficult circumstances--loss, heartbreak, change, midlife--and it's easy to understand why you feel lonely, lost, unsure of yourself, stuck, and, if you're honest with yourself, flat-out unhappy.
Is Everyone Happier Than Me? provides practical and relatable answers to the questions you've probably already been asking about your life, and poses a few more, to help you figure out what's standing in the way of your happiness, peace, and connection.
Author, podcaster, and midlife mom Sarah Bragg is a trustworthy comrade for the journey as she shares the valuable lessons she's learned in her own hard seasons to help you:
Identify the unhealthy habits you do when you feel unhappy and how to overcome them
Discover simple ways to find peace even in the murky middle of hard seasons
Find new ways to connect with others and yourself
Embrace exactly where you are even as you try to move forward
It's time to let go of the ideal of a perfect life and allow yourself to be a work in progress. And there's no better time to find happiness than right here in the middle.
Can't wait until Tuesday and need just a little snippet from our podcast episode that's coming up on November 5, with Sarah Bragg.
One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.
Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,
Lizz & Esther
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