Welcome to Grace and Space, a weekly newsletter from the Deconstructing Mamas Podcast! GRACE for who you have been, are now and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be!
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For many of us, Christmas once came with a rigid script: specific prayers, songs, rituals, and meanings dictated by our faith communities. Leaving high-control religion often means untangling the threads of what we were told Christmas had to be and discovering what it could be.
But this isn’t just a loss—it’s an invitation to reimagine.
As we evolve, so can our experience of Christmas. This season of wonder and light can grow with us, offering new meaning for wherever we are on our spiritual journey.
The Tension Between What Was and What Is
The first Christmases after leaving high-control religion can feel disorienting. Without the structure of past traditions, there’s an emptiness that can feel like grief—or freedom, depending on the moment.
This tension is part of the process. Reimagining Christmas doesn’t mean rejecting everything; it means sifting through what resonates and letting go of what doesn’t. It’s okay to keep the parts that still bring you joy—like singing carols or gathering for a meal—and release the parts that no longer feel like home.
A Season of Contemplation
At its best, Christmas invites us into stillness and reflection. What does this season mean for us, now that we’re untethered from old certainties?
Hope and light: Instead of focusing on a single story or doctrine, we can see Christmas as a universal celebration of hope in the midst of darkness—a time to light candles and remember that even the smallest flame can dispel the night.
Wonder and mystery: Letting go of rigid beliefs makes space for mystery. We don’t need all the answers to sit in awe of the beauty around us—whether it’s the stillness of a winter evening or the laughter of loved ones gathered close.
Generosity and connection: Beyond religious obligation, we can embrace acts of kindness as a natural expression of our shared humanity.
Inviting Your Family Into the Journey
If you’re reimagining Christmas alongside children or other family members, this can be a time to explore together.
Ask open-ended questions: What does Christmas mean to us now? What do we want to carry forward, and what might we release?
Focus on shared values: Highlight themes like love, generosity, and connection that transcend religious narratives.
Create new rituals: Whether it’s lighting candles, reading stories, or simply reflecting on the year, let new traditions emerge naturally.
Embracing the Evolving Nature of Faith
One of the gifts of leaving high-control religion is the freedom to grow. Christmas, like our faith, doesn’t have to be static. Each year, it can reflect where we are and what matters most to us in that moment.
This year, Christmas might be quiet and contemplative, marked by a single candle and a whispered prayer. Next year, it might be a joyful celebration with music, food, and laughter. Both are valid. Both are sacred.
Moving From Obligation to Invitation
Reimagining Christmas is about releasing the weight of “should” and embracing the beauty of “could.” It’s an invitation to rediscover wonder, to sit with mystery, and to celebrate love in all its forms.
So, whether your Christmas is filled with family, solitude, or something in between, let it be a reflection of where you are—and where you’re going. Let it be yours.
This Week on the Podcast:
"When our faith shifts, sometimes stories that once felt magical like Christmas feel complicated. We can still feel empowered by the magical parts of the story while leaving room for age appropriate theology and curiosity with the story." (Sarah Swartzendruber)
Our episode this week is with Sarah Swartzendruber, Sarah is a mama, pastor, kid's faith curriculum creator (Zippee) and cohort leader for Parenting After Deconstruction.
Most of the parents who reach out to her know what they don't want to teach their kids, but they have no idea what they do want for their families. Sarah's passion is helping parents ind deconstruction create healthy spiritual practices for their kids that answer the question, "What now? How can we do this well?"
On this episode, we dive deep into the idea of reimagining Christmas in the ways we parent. We answer these questions: 1. What does reimagining Christmas mean to you, and why might it be important for us? 2. How can we shift the focus of Christmas from tradition or obligation to something more meaningful and authentic? 3. How can parents involve their children in rethinking and co-creating new Christmas traditions that reflect their family’s evolving values?
4. How can families navigate grief or loss that might come with letting go of old traditions while creating space for new ones?
Sarah is brilliant, imaginative and funny, while at the same time, a kick-butt theologian who will help you to feel like you've got what it takes to walk this "tricky tightrope" in confidence and clarity, but mostly in compassion and curiosity. Don't miss out! You can find the Sarah in these spaces: Instagram: @parentingafterdeconstruction
Website: www.parentingafterdeconstuction.com
Latest News:
We will be taking a break now for the cozy winter time and will be back in March with a whole new season!
We have learned that making boundaries for our mental health and for the best production of the podcast is what works! Plus, there's a quote that says, "When you are tired, learn to rest, not quit." So there's that too!
This is a great time for you to catch up on any episodes that you missed and we will still be putting out or newsletters (probably more like biweekly) at this point!!
Thank you again, for being such faithful readers!
Resource Alerts:
If you haven't been to our website page with tons of resources for you, check them all out HERE!
Can't wait until Tuesday and need just a little snippet from our podcast episode that's coming up on December 3, with Sarah Swartzendruber.
One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.
Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,
Lizz & Esther
P.S. SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER HERE!
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