Welcome to Grace and Space, a weekly newsletter from the Deconstructing Mamas Podcast! GRACE for who you have been, are now and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be!
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In our journey of deconstructing high-control and even toxic religion, we often find ourselves navigating a complicated maze of emotions. Recently, I came across a thought-provoking quote:
"Sometimes you mourn losing things you're not even sure you want back." (Justin Sytsma)
This simple line resonates deeply. It speaks to the bittersweet nature of our departure—a mourning not just for the overt rules and rituals we’re leaving behind, but for the hidden comforts, familiar patterns, and a sense of belonging that we once thought was indispensable.
Embracing the Complexity of Loss
Leaving a high-control religion can feel like a profound loss. There’s grief in letting go of traditions, community, and even a part of our identity. But this mourning isn’t necessarily about longing for the past in a romantic way. Instead, it’s about recognizing that
Many of us find that our grief is layered. We might feel sadness for the relationships and structures we’re dismantling, mixed with relief and hope for a future built on our own truths. Sometimes, we grieve the loss of certainty or the safety net of familiar belief systems, even when deep down, we know that this step is crucial for our growth.
Acknowledging Our Grief Without Judgment
It’s important to honor every emotion that surfaces. The loss we feel isn’t a sign of weakness or regret; it’s part of the transformation process. Mourning is a natural, human response to significant change—even when we’re leaving behind aspects that, in hindsight, may not have truly served us.
Allow yourself the space to feel these emotions. Journaling, connecting with others who understand your journey, or simply taking quiet moments for self-reflection can be powerful ways to process your grief. Remember, it’s okay to miss what once was, even as you embrace the freedom of forging a new path.
Navigating the Transition with Compassion
As we deconstruct, we’re not just dismantling old beliefs—we’re also reconstructing our inner landscapes. This transition can be messy, and it often requires time, patience, and self-compassion. Reach out to us. Get help from a Spiritual Director (I am a certified one and you can have a FREE 15-minute consult by booking HERE.)
Share your experiences, your doubts, and your victories. We are all in this together, learning how to live with the spaces left behind and the opportunities that arise in their stead.
Moving Forward
Every step forward is an act of courage. The grief you experience is a testament to the deep connections you once had, and a reminder of the resilience you carry within. By confronting and embracing these feelings, you pave the way for a richer, more authentic life—one built on your own values and experiences.
Thank you for being a part of this community and for your willingness to journey through these transformative times. Let’s continue to support one another, knowing that every tear shed is a seed for future growth.
(Written by Esther)
Latest News:
Only 8 days until Season Seven begins! Put March 4 on your calendar in black ink!!
We are so excited about our line up of guests so far and wanted to give you a sneak peak!
We start off with a bang with Josh Harris, the author of the book from the 90's from the height of purity culture, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Josh is a kind, gentle soul, who has gone through the ringer and unpublished this book and has a lot to share with us about his journey of untangling from high-control and toxic Christianity, especially purity culture.
This conversation was so healing for both Lizz and Esther and will be for you too!
Other guests include Julia Postema and Jeremiah Gibson (also known as the Sexvangelicals), Lizz Charlotte Grant, author of Knock at the Sky, Rabbi Brian Mayer (our first Rabbi - WOOHOO), Chelan Harkin (a poet that is saving Esther's life right about now), Erin Hicks Moon, author of the widely popular I've Got Questions, Rachel Pinto-Martin (a former LDS church leader) and advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, our ever-faithful Sarah Swartzendruber chatting it up about how to do the Easter thing with kids, Claire McKeever-Burgett, author of Blessed are the Women, and even more to come...
We cannot wait to share these voices with you! Each one is powerful, wise, healing and worth listening to.
We've put links to the books that we are highlighting this season below so that you can get a jump--start on all the goodness we have lined up for you!
We wanted to let you know that we have come to a very-hard decision NOT to provide extra content for those of you who support us.
We have lots going on in our lives (Lizz has two young kids and Esther just finished her Spiritual Direction training and has four kids all over the country) and no matter how hard we've tried to do it, we just can't seem to make it work within our bandwidth.
For those of you who support us, we are so grateful! You are the reason we can keep the podcast going! We don't take any of it lightly and know your money is valuable and will do our best to steward it well.
We get it if you need to drop support from us, but we would gently ask you to consider sticking with us!
Resource Alerts:
If you haven't been to our website page with tons of resources for you, check them all out HERE!
BOOKS FROM OUR UPCOMING GUESTS
If you want something powerful while you wait for Season Seven to begin, Esther was a guest on the Shift Happens Podcast with Joe Smith. Esther speaks with Joe about spiritual direction, Carl Jung, Richard Rohr, Celtic theology, the shadow self and how non-dual thinking is a key to moving beyond the cruelty of our age.
Also, a warning, there is some politics spoken about in the episode, but Joe and Esther try hard to move away from the “out there” back to the “what’s going on in here, in my soul?”
One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.
Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,
Lizz & Esther
P.S. SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER HERE!
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