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In a small town, nestled among rolling hills, a vibrant community once thrived, united by faith and a shared commitment to love and service. Yet, over time, the atmosphere shifted. A high-control church emerged, intertwining its teachings with a vision of Christian nationalism, asserting that America was a divinely chosen nation. The church’s message soon morphed from one of inclusion and grace to a rigid interpretation of faith that demanded obedience and conformity.
For many in the community, this shift felt like a slow suffocation. Members were told their worth hinged on their alignment with both the church’s doctrines and the political landscape. Questions and doubts were met with hostility, creating an environment thick with fear. Friends became distant as the church’s narrative fostered division, urging members to see themselves as defenders of a singular national identity rather than followers of Christ who uplifted the marginalized.
Amidst this turmoil, Sarah found herself struggling. Once filled with joy and hope, her faith began to feel heavy, laden with expectations and shame. She felt compelled to fit a mold that didn’t resonate with her spirit, distancing herself from the core teachings of Jesus. In her heart, she longed for a faith that celebrated diversity, compassion, and love—qualities that seemed increasingly absent in her community.
One day, seeking clarity, Sarah ventured into a local coffee shop, where she overheard a group of friends discussing their own struggles with faith and community. They spoke of their journeys away from toxic environments, sharing stories of healing and renewal. Inspired, Sarah decided to join them. They created a safe space to explore their beliefs without judgment, reflecting on the true message of the gospel.
As their conversations deepened, Sarah began to untangle the threads of toxic Christianity and Christian nationalism that had woven themselves into her life. She realized that she was not alone in her struggle and that many others felt the same sense of disconnection. Together, they embraced a new understanding of faith—one that prioritized love over control and welcomed all, regardless of background.
Through this process, Sarah discovered the importance of self-compassion. She acknowledged the pain caused by her previous environment, allowing herself to grieve what had been lost. With each conversation, she felt lighter, releasing the weight of shame and guilt that had burdened her for so long. She learned to celebrate her worthiness as a beloved child of God.
As she continued to explore her faith, Sarah found hope in the community they were building. It was a place where vulnerability was encouraged, and questions were welcomed. The more they engaged with scripture through the lens of love and grace, the more their hearts opened to the beauty of God’s inclusive message.
In time, Sarah's journey became a testament to the transformative power of untangling toxic beliefs. As she reconnected with her faith, she felt a renewed sense of purpose—a desire to embody the love of Christ in her community and beyond. Together with her newfound friends, she worked to create a space where healing and hope could flourish, offering a counter-narrative to the exclusionary messages that had once dominated their lives.
Sarah's story serves as a reminder that untangling the threads of toxic Christianity and Christian nationalism is a journey filled with challenges, but also profound hope. By embracing love, compassion, and community, we can reclaim our faith and build a brighter future for ourselves and others—one where the transformative power of love shines brightly, inviting all to experience its grace.
(This essay is a compilation of stories combined into one and hopefully something that will help you to unpack your own relationship with Christian Nationalism. Sarah is fictional, but she's also so many of us.)
This Week on the Podcast:
“Christian Nationalism is harmful to both Christianity and the country.” April Ajoy
Our episode this week is with April Ajoy, author of the new book, Star-Spangled Jesus, former Christian Nationalist, podcast host and deconstructing mom of two.
April has a fierce passion to recover from the wounds of toxic Christianity and how it plays out in the political arena and to help others do the same. If you feel like you would like to understand more about exactly what Christian Nationalism is and learn more about the hope we still have in this volatile time in our history, this podcast episode is for you.
Some of the topics we explore are these:
How Christian Nationalism began and why it's so dangerous.
Why it's important to disentangle faith from politics.
Advice for those of us who feel conflicted, but are afraid of the personal and social consequences of questioning our beliefs.
How we prevent becoming what we’ve walked away from.
Parenting through curious faith and the current political climate.
Our favorite words from this podcast episode were things like demons, witchcraft, big tent, pressure off, loosely, empathy, Christian Nationalism, and liberate. Find out why when you listen.
You can find April at the following:
Instagram: @aprilajoy
Tiktok: @aprilajoy
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Resource Alerts:
In this hilarious memoir, a social media star and podcast host shares about her time deeply entrenched in Christian Nationalism and how she left it behind to better follow Jesus.
Social media influencer and podcast host April Ajoy wouldn’t have called herself a Christian Nationalist when she performed her original song “America Say Jesus” on the Jim Bakker show, or when she participated in Jesus Marches across America, or when she posted cringe-worthy videos on YouTube to campaign for Mitt Romney. April just considered herself a good Christian: faithful, Republican, and determined to make America a Christian nation once again.
But as her view of the world widened, Ajoy began to see cracks in her steadfast beliefs and recognized the ways her conservative politics and religion were intertwined in her mind. Did God really bless America? Is it actually by His red, white, and blue stripes that we are healed?
Part memoir, part guidebook, part call to action, Star-Spangled Jesus explores how the fight to make America a “Christian nation” has damaged us all and shows how one woman left Christian Nationalism and why America should too.
Can't wait until Tuesday and need just a little snippet from our podcast episode that's coming up on October 29, with April Ajoy.
One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.
Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,
Lizz & Esther
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