Welcome to Grace and Space, a weekly newsletter from the Deconstructing Mamas Podcast! GRACE for who you have been, are now and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be!
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There is a story in the Hebrew scriptures of a man named Jacob who wrestled with God all night. He came out of it changed—limping, yes, but also blessed. His struggle wasn’t a sign of failure or lack of faith; it was the very place where transformation happened.
For many of us who were raised in high-control religious spaces, questions were not always welcome. Certainty was held up as the gold standard, and doubts were seen as cracks in the foundation rather than the very tools that might help us rebuild. We were given answers before we even knew what the questions were. We were taught to cling to beliefs that kept us safe inside the fold, even when those beliefs no longer felt true, no longer felt like ours.
But what if faith isn’t about holding onto certainty at all? What if it’s about the wrestling, the seeking, the willingness to sit in the tension of not-knowing?
When we deconstruct, we often find ourselves asking the very questions we were once afraid of:
What if I was wrong?
What if they were wrong?
What if the story is bigger than I ever imagined?
It can feel terrifying to let go of the scaffolding that once held our faith together. But questions are not the enemy of faith. In fact, they are faith in action. When we ask, when we doubt, when we lean into the unknown rather than away from it, we are engaging in the sacred work of wrestling.
And wrestling is an embodied, beautiful spiritual practice. It's highly intimate. It means we are alive and engaged. It means we care deeply. It means we are refusing to settle for something that no longer fits just because it once did.
Some of us have spent years untangling ourselves from beliefs that no longer serve us, and that is no small thing. But maybe the goal isn’t to reach a place where we no longer have questions. Maybe the goal is to get comfortable holding them, letting them guide us deeper into love, into curiosity, into something expansive and free.
If God is love (or GLove, as Esther likes to call God), then surely God is not afraid of our wrestling. Surely, we are not meant to hold faith with white-knuckled certainty, but with open hands and wondering hearts.
So today, let’s name our questions as sacred. Let’s trust that there is blessing in the wrestling. And let’s remind each other that we are not alone in it.
With you in the wondering, Lizz & Esther (author of this)
Our Podcast This Week:
What we're learning is that God is comfortable with questions. In fact, our questions are often where God want to meet us. (Erin Hicks Moon)
Our episode this week is with Erin Hicks Moon, mom, author of the new brilliant book, I've Got Questions, Zac Efron apologist (it's a thing y'all), and self-proclaimed Bible-nerd.
On this episode, we talk with Erin about all things related to questioning, and why it's an necessary spiritual practice. Plus, we do find out more about why she has a obsession with Zac Efron, a reason to listen for sure.
We chat through these questions:
1. For parents who are deconstructing, how can we help our kids navigate their own faith journey when we’re still figuring out ours?
2. What is the spiritual practice of "having it out with God." How can we do that in a healthy, healing way, especially when dealing with a faith background that was once rigid and controlling?
3. You emphasize the power of lament and naming our pressure points in faith. What do you mean by lament and why does it matter so much when it comes to questioning God? And how does lament relate to naming our pressure points?
4. You use lots of humor as a way to cope and heal. How can we, as parents, incorporate humor or lightness into our own healing process when parenting feels so heavy due to past religious experiences?
5. You say that wrestling with God is part of the traditional Christian story, not a deviation from it. How can parents model a healthy wrestling with faith for their children, especially when they were taught to avoid questions in a high-control environment?
6. In your book, you offer a pathway to make peace with our past faith experiences. What practical steps would you recommend for parents to set new spiritual boundaries for their families, even if those steps take them outside traditional religious norms?
We found Erin to be smart, hilarious, and engaging, our conversation with her perfect for the times we find ourselves in on our ever-evolving faith and parenting journeys. You can find Erin here: Website: erinhmoon.com Instagram: @erinhmoon Substack: erinhmoon.substack.com
Latest News:
We wanted to let you know that we have come to a very-hard decision NOT to provide extra content for those of you who support us.
We have lots going on in our lives (Lizz has two young kids and Esther just finished her Spiritual Direction training and has four kids all over the country) and no matter how hard we've tried to do it, we just can't seem to make it work within our bandwidth.
For those of you who support us, we are so grateful! You are the reason we can keep the podcast going! We don't take any of it lightly and know your money is valuable and will do our best to steward it well.
We get it if you need to drop support from us, but we would gently ask you to consider sticking with us!
Resource Alerts:
If you haven't been to our website page with tons of resources for you, check them all out HERE!
One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.
Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,
Lizz & Esther
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